School — most commented jokes

- Teacher: Why didn't you answer me?

- Pupil: I did, I shook my head

- Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you!

- Our teacher talks to herself does yours?

- Yes, but she does't realise it, she thinks we're actually listening!

- Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?

- Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?

- Why were you late?

- Sorry, teacher, I overslept.

- You mean you need to sleep at home too!

- Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear?

- Jane: Yes, and we're going again tomorrow.

- Mother: Really? Why's that?

- Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

'Ann!' the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window. 'If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I?'

- Thirty two!

- Why did you say that?

- Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad!

Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.

'I'm not going to school today,' Alexander said to his mother.

- The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.

- Why?

- Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.

- Principal: I've called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldn't use so often. One is "great" and the other is "lousy."

- Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

- Teacher: What happened to your homework?

- Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.