Relationships — most commented jokes

- Girl Monster 1: I hear you've met the perfect guy.

- Girl Monster 2: Oh yes, he's a bad dream come true!

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.

- Ohhh, it's my girlfriend.

- What's the problem?

- When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.

My sister fell in love at second sight. When she first met him she didn't know how rich he was.

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

Brian was dating Lorraine and they were very close. While they were dating he met another woman named Clearly and wanted to start dating her but felt that he should be faithful to Lorraine. So he continued to date Lorraine. One day Brian took Lorraine on a walk in the woods by the river. As they were walking near the river Lorraine fell in and was washed away. Brian softly sang, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine has gone..."

Men are like vacuum cleaners.
They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

Men are like coffee.
The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.

What do you do if your bank account stops working?
→ Throw the guy out of the house.

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1. Get away or I'll call the police!!!
2. I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
→ A mental hospital.