Mom/Dad Jokes — most commented jokes

NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and two days later sent him home with a ransom note. His parents immediately sent the kid back with the money.

When Ben hit his thumb with a hammer he let out a few choice words. Shocked by her son's outburst, his mother said, "Don't you dare use that kind of language in here."

"William Shakespeare did," replied Ben.

"Well, you'd better stop going around with him," said Mom.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?
→ Parents.

Why are parents boring?
→ Because they're groan-ups.

What's another name for an parent?
→ Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

When is a parent like a child?
→ When he's a miner.

What do young ghosts call their parents?
→ Deady and Mummy.

How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
→ I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

A small boy is sent to bed by his father...

[Five minutes later]

- Da-ad...

- What?

- I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?

- No. You had your chance. Lights out.

[Five minutes later]

- Da-aaaad...

- WHAT?

- I'm THIRSTY... Can I have a drink of water??

- I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!

[Five minutes later]

- Daaaa-aaaAAAAD...

- WHAT??!!

- When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?