Random joke from this category
I've never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Why does a dog lick his balls?
→ Because he can't make a fist.
A man takes his dog for a walk in the park. While he's there, he runs in to his old friend. The two men stop to talk and the dog just plops right down and starts licking his balls. The friend sees this and says, "Man, I sure wish I could do that." The dog owner says, "Go ahead, but pet him a little bit first."
There were two guys walking down the street and they saw a dog licking his nuts.
One of the guys said. "Man I wish I could do that".
Then the other guy said, "Man that dog will bite you!"
Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life.
When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream.
He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"
Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"
Why did God create men first?
→ Because we learn from mistakes.
10 things men know about women:
1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
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7:
8:
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10: They have tits
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
→ Kick her in the butt!
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like to interrupt her.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
→ Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine, will never be able to support you.
