Men Jokes — most commented jokes

What part of a woman does a man like looking at best?
→ The top of her head.

How long does it take for a woman to orgasm?
→ Who cares?

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.

After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"

"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

Jon was looking for a little "action". He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac.

After six times she was screaming for more. After the eighth time Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.

On the way out he stopped in the men's room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic that he couldn't find "it".

After a couple of minutes "fishing around" he finally said, "Look, it's ok. She's not here!"

Which of the following doesn't belong?

• (a) meat
• (b) eggs
• (c) wife
• (d) blow job

(D) A blowjob, because it's possible to beat your meat, your eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Three guys are discussing women.

"I like to watch a woman's tits best," the first guy says.

The second says, "I like to look at a woman's ass."

He asks the third guy, "What about you?"

"Me? I prefer to see the top of her head."

Once in a medieval times, there was a King who was getting sort of bored after dinner one night. He decided to hold a contest of who at the court had the mightiest "weapon".

The first knight stood up and proclaimed that he had the mightiest weapon... he pulled down his pants and tied a 5 pound weight around it. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered... the women swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band played appropriate music.

Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He dropped his pants and tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered... the women swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band played appropriate music.

After several more knights tried to prove their superiority... the King finally spoke out.

"I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped his pants and tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not even a thirty pound, but a 40 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth rose. The crowds cheered... the women swooned... the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band played "God Save the Queen."

Two men were talking to each other about how pussy tastes.

The first guy said, "I think it tastes like cherry pie."

The other guy said, "I think it tastes like shit."

Then the first guy said, "You are supposed to turn her over."

What is the most insensitive part of a penis?
→ The man.

What's the best thing about a blow job?
→ The 15 minutes of silence!