Random joke from this category
This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again."
"What dream?" asked the shrink, not really paying attention.
"You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"
Here's a pretty nasty one:
Why are they having such a hard time finding a cure for AIDS?
→ The scientists can't get the mice to butt fuck.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
→ The taste.
A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out...
I'm freakin' out...my pee's coming out in four streams."
He says, "Get up on the table and I'll see what I can do."
She gets up on the table, and as he's examining her, he starts to giggle.
She says, "It's not funny. My pee's coming out in four streams."
He says, "It won't anymore. I took the trouser button out of there."
What's a definition of a gynecologist?
→ Gynecologist is a person who looks for problems in a place where most people find pleasure
A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog stuck to his head.
- Doctor: How did this happen?
- Frog: It started with a bump on my ass.
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist.
She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely.
I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me.
Can you help me accept my ugliness?"
"I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
Sobel goes into the optometrist's office.
He opens the door and says to the receptionist, "I think I need my eyes checked."
She says, "You're not kidding. This is the Ladies Room."
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life?
She was told that it was.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
After years with a psychiatrist, a man who thought he was a dog was declared cured. A friend asked him how he felt now. The former patient replied, "Fine! Just feel my nose."
