Medicine — most commented jokes

What's the definition of bravery?
→ A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

A man is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast.

One of the nurses gave him a rectal thermometer and said, "Don't move -- I'll be right back."

When she returned the thermometer was in his mouth. She asked in amazement, "How did you get that in your mouth, you can't even move?"

"I hiccupped."

How do dentists become brain surgeons?
→ When their drills slip.

The patient came into the doctor's office, suffering from amnesia.

The doctor asked, "Have you ever had it before?"

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said his physician. "I can cure pneumonia."

Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
→ Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

- Doctor: We operated on your eyes and we've managed to save one of them.

- Patient: Oh, thank you very much.

- Doctor: Yes, we'll give it to you on your way out.

The doctor took Bill into the room and said, "Bill, I have some good news and some bad news." Bill said, "Give me the good news." "They're going to name a disease after you."

- Dentist: Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams.

- Patient: Why, Doc? It isn't all that bad this time.

- Dentist: Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the five o'clock Braves game on Channel 4.

After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believes he is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and a friend came across a chicken, and John was terrified.

"Why are you so afraid, you're not a grain of wheat after all," his friend asked.

John replied, "You know it and I know it, but the chicken doesn't know it."