Medicine — most commented jokes

- 1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days?

- 2nd Monster: He's at medical school.

- 1st Monster: Oh, what's he studying?

- 2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying him!

How did the monster cure his sore throat?
→ He spent all day gargoyling.

- Dr Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It's a new pill consisting of 50 per cent glue and 50 per cent aspirin.

- Igor: But what's it for?

- Dr Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.

A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt.

Afterward a friend borrowed the truss to wear for his physical. At the end of the examination the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers.

"Does that mean I'm medically exempt?" he asked.

"No," answered the doctor. "M.E. stands for Middle East. Anyone who can wear a truss upside down can certainly ride a camel."

During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months.

As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did.

When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought."

Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel?
→ Because they are both surrounded by nuts.

What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?
→ You know you need a psychiatrist!

- Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.

- Amazing! So you have.

- How could that have happened?

- I can't understand it either, because I planted cabbage!

A woman entered a psychiatrist's consulting room leading a kangaroo.

"I'm worried about my husband, doctor," she said.
"He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo!"

Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?