Language Jokes — most commented jokes

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
→ Because 7 8 9!

How many seconds are in a year?
→ There are 12 seconds in a year. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...

If the prefix "con" is the opposite of the prefix "pro", then is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

- Knock knock.

- Who's there?

- Owls.

- Owls who?

- That's right! Owls hoo!

Two Nuts Where Walking Down The Street. One Was A Salted!

What nationality are you if you're going to the bathroom?
→ European

And what nationality are you if someone's knocking on the door while you're going?
→ You're a Russian.

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy: "I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard!"

What's the biggest pencil in the World?
→ Pennsylvania!

That was Zen, this is Tao.

Do you know why David killed Goliath and then decapitated him?
→ He wanted to get a-head!