Language Jokes — most commented jokes

An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells: "Super Pussy!"

The old man says: "I'll have the soup."

An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in particular I can show you?" he asked.

- Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.

"You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested.

"Sectional schmectional." she bitterly retorted. "All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!"

If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside????
→ K9P.

What is the last thing each Tickle Me Elmo doll receives before he leaves the factory?
→ Two Test Tickles

What's brown and sticky?
→ A stick.

What is the rallying cry of the International Dyslexic Pride movement?
→ Dyslexics Untie!

Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England of a visit.

- Do you have anything to declare?

- No -- sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all.

- How long do you plan to stay?

- Oh, about -- ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz -- about three weeks.

- By the way, where did you learn English?

- From the -- bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz -- radio.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly, "in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following; "Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Denna I come once-a more."

"You fowl-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."