Language Jokes — most commented jokes

What language do the Vatican Police speak?
→ Pig Latin!

And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Whom do men say that I am?"

And His disciples answered unto Him, "Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch."

And Jesus said, "What?"

Did you hear about the dyslectic agnostic with insomnia?
→ He used to lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.

What do you call a nun riding piggyback on the hunchback of Notre Dame?
→ Virgin on the ridiculous.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
→ He sold his soul to Santa.

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.

All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An 'R'! They left out the 'R'."

God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R' ... the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Did you hear about the guy born with two left feet?
→ He went out one day to buy some Flip Flips...

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?