Random joke from this category
If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule.
If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception tothe rule that for every rule there is an exception.
One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle.
The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again.
He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
- Room Service: Morny. Ruin sorbees.
- Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
- RS: Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??
- Guest: Uh..yes.. I'd like some bacon and eggs.
- RS: Ow July den?
- G: What??
- RS: Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?
- G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please.
- RS: Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?
- G: Crisp will be fine
- RS: Hokay. An San tos?
- G: What?
- RS: San tos. July San tos?
- G: I don't think so
- RS: No? Judo one toes??
- G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means.
- RS: Toes! toes!.. Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother?
- G: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
- RS: We bother?
- G: No..just put the bother on the side.
- RS: Wad?
- G: I mean butter - just put it on the side.
- RS: Copy?
- G: Sorry?
- RS: Copy...tea...mill?
- G: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.
- RS: One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honeysigh, and copy....rye??
- G: Whatever you say.
- RS: Tendjewberrymud
- G: You're welcome
Have a good day
A high school senior was inspecting Harvard University, where he hoped to attend the following autumn. As he was walking across the Quad, he stopped a distinguished-looking man and asked: "Sir, can you please tell me where your library is at?"
The man looked down his nose and replied: "Son, I'm head of the English department, and I can assure you we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Re-cast your sentence in a proper form and I will reply."
"Can you tell me where your library is at, ass-hole?"
A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never be absolute, unless absolutely necessary: A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Now that Uday & Qusay have been eliminated, a lot of the lesser-known Hussein family members are coming to the attention of American authorities.
Among the brothers:
Among the sisters:
More will, no doubt, be discovered...including A.A. Sidday, Oz weekend TV Host.
What is George W. Bush's favorite town in Texas?
→ Kilgore, TX
Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Definition: Politics
Poli (Poly): Many....
Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures
