Random joke from this category
Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" The other one replied, "What are you complaining for; you have it, don't you?"
How did Frankenstein's monster eat his lunch?
→ He bolted it down.
What do witches eat at Halloween?
→ Spook-etti, Halloweenies, Devil's food cake and Boo-berry pie.
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile.
"We don't even have an air conditioner."
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.
First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile.
"We don't even have an air conditioner."
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
- Bill: If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?
- Tom: The smaller piece, of course.
- Bill: What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?
What did the salt say to the pepper?
→ Hey Baby, what's SHAKING!
Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange?
→ Because the lime was engaged.
- Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
- You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
