Ethnic — most commented jokes

What do you call a pregnant Black woman?
→ A dope carrier!

What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson?
→ An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!

Where do the Ku Klux Klan buy there sh-sh-sheets?
→ At the k-k-k Mart.

An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman and catches a strange venereal disease (this time, a green ring around the base of the penis). The patient goes to a doctor who says he's never seen anything like it, but his penis would probably have to be amputated.

The patient then goes to another doctor, who also doesn't know anything about this decease, but thinks the amputation is indicated. Deeply distressed, the patient decided to go to a Soviet emigre doctor, figuring he may be familiar with this V. D.

Indeed, the Soviet emigre doctor says, "I know this decease! Your American doctors always want to cut. Don't do anything. Two week later, prick fall off by himself!"

An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman. The next day his prick turns black. He runs to a doctor and asks, "Doctor, is this some weird venereal disease?"

"Worse," says the doctor. "It's frostbite!"

Surgeon General C. Everett Koop, in conjunction with research associate Dr. Ed Bluestone of the Surgeon General's office, has compiled for non-confidential distribution a list of activities which, while not definitely linked to death or established as causative factors in any specific form of physical or physiological deterioration, have been determined through exhaustive reiteration to be detrimental to the human condition and specifically to the welfare of their perpetrator.

While implementation of any of these activities is not specifically illegal as cited by state or federal jurisdictions, engagement in any of said activities could very probably be construed as a gross breach of common etiquette constraints and/or moral codes and analogs.

Widespread or accelerated participation in any of the listed activities by an increasing or superannuated segment of the population would be frowned on by and erosive to all reasonable, respected, and stalwart facets of American society.

The Surgeon General warns:

1. Never raise your hand during a hijacking to indicate that you get a kosher meal.
2. Never ask a bald man if you can borrow his toupee to clean your windshield.
3. Never moon a werewolf.
4. Never squeeze a parakeet to death while screaming, "I want the name of your accomplice!"
5. Never threaten to punish your Dalmation with spot remover.
6. Never use a bulldog as a surrogate mother.
7. Never hire an attorney who can discuss specific episodes of The Flintstones.
8. Never trust an Oriental dentist who sells miniature ivory animals.
9. Never ask a dog with rabies if he would like you to floss his teeth.
10. Never believe your dog when he tells you that while you were out, your parents came over and drank water out of your toilet.
11. Never take a cockroach hostage and expect anyone to negotiate with you.
12. Never walk your dog around someone else's living room with a pooper scooper in your hand.
13. Never say to a lobster before you boil him, "Let me know if your bath is too hot."
14. Never tell an IRS auditor that if he doesn't leave you alone, you plan to cheat again next year.
15. Never tell Yasser Arafat that you think Newark should be the Palestinian homeland.

A Soviet emigre woman comes to a gynecologist and complains: "Doctor, when I wasn't married, I had six abortions, and now I got married and can't get pregnant."

"Well" said the doctor, "It's possible you don't breed in captivity!"

A man comes to an Italian doctor because of sore throat. The doctor tells him to pull down his pants and to swing his genitals in the window.

- What does this have to do with my throat?

- Nothing, I just hate the neighbors!

One Polish surgeon asks another: "How did that appendectomy go?"

"Appendectomy?" shrieks the other. "I though it was an autopsy!"

This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, "I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much..."

So the doctor says, "Well, it's risky, but okay." So into the operating room they go for the brain removal procedure.

Later, when the German guy wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We are verrrryyyy sorry, but we accidentally removed 75% of your brain instead of 50%."

The guy looks up and says, "Mama Mia!"