Random joke from this category
Willy's rolling down the hall of a retirement home acting like he's driving a car, an orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he's doing.
Willy replies, "I'm going to Chicago for the weekend."
The orderly chuckles and enters Bob's room to check on him.
He catchs Bob pleasuring himself, when asked what he is doing, Bob replies, "I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's away in Chicago."
A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm when one day he walks out behind the barn and sees his grandfather playing with himself.
The boy says, "What are you doing grandpa, jacking off?"
Grandpa replies, "No sonny, just jacking!"
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, "You can go home now."
How do you get four old ladies to say the F word?
→ Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!
Joe still enjoyed chasing girls when he got to be 70.
When his wife was asked if she minded, she answered, "Why should I be upset? Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."
Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said, "Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"
Nancy & Betty, and Jim & Tom were in the old people's home. Nancy & Betty thought Jim & Tom weren't getting enough excitement so they decided to run naked past Jim & Tom's room. Later that night they did just that.
Jim looked at Tom and said, "Did you see that? What in the hell were Nancy & Betty wearing?" "I don't know, but whatever it was, it sure needed ironing."
An elderly man tells the Doctor he is planning on marrying a women of 30, and would he have any suggestions.
"Yes," says the Doctor, "I would advise you to take in a boarder."
A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is going. He says fine his wife is pregnant.
The Doctor remarks: "so you took my advise and took in a boarder?"
"Yes I did, is the reply, and she's pregnant also....."
An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died.
Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to hear that," she replied.
Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the halls at the nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants. Nurse Jones saw him and said, "Mr. Smith I thought you told me your penis died".
"It did" he replied; "today is the viewing"
