Random joke from this category
A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone.
- Please state the nature of your emergency.
- Help! My house is on fire!
- Okay, where do you live?
- In a house you silly billy!
- No,no! How do we get there?
- Duh! Big Red Truck!!
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
→ She moved.
When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
→ After a dye job.
Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
→ So brunettes can remember them.
Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
→ Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
→ To turn the blinker off.
Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
→ In case she locks the keys in her car.
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
→ It finally dawned on her!
