Random joke from this category
- My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!
- Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.
- Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas
- Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.
- Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep.
- Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!
- Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell!
- Just take these pills - and, if they don't work, give me a ring!
The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. 'How high is it, Doctor?' she wanted to know.
'One hundred and three,' said the doctor.
'What is the world record?'
On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke to the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
"Doctor," said the patient, "I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!"
"How long have you had this problem?" the doctor asked.
"Lest's see," said the patient, "Mom had the litter in '41."
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
"Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
- First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
- Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
- Doctor, Doctor! My sister thinks she's an elevator.
- Tell her to come in.
- I can't. She doesn't stop at this floor.
