Doctor Jokes — most commented jokes

- Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

- Nurse: No change yet.

- Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!

- Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright.

- Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!

- Doctor: Have you ever had this before?

- Patient: Yes.

- Doctor: Well, you've got it again!

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!."
The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor."
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
→ If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.

- Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

- Doctor: Oh, really?

- Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.

"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"

"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."

- Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

- Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

- Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?

- Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.