Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before.

- 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks.

- 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and given a DUI!

- 3rd guy: That's nothing. I was so drunk that on the way home I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed!

- 1st guy: No, no.. you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog.

Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other, "Hey, do you fancy dropping in there and getting shit-faced?"

How do you know if a lesbian is butch?
→ She kick-starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he had gotten circumcised last week. "Can I see it?" asked the second gay guy.

So the first guy promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation.

"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"

What's a transvestite's idea of a good time?
→ Eat, drink, and be Mary!

What does it mean when two lesbians make love?
→ It doesn't mean dick.

What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?
→ The white one got away.

How can u spot a tough Lesbian Bar?
→ Even the pool tables don't have balls.

A straight guy and a gay are in the men's room and the straight guy has his shirt unbuttoned exposing a heavy coat of chest hair. The gay asked how he came to have so much hair on his chest. He said, "I put Vaseline on it every night." That night the gay put Vaseline on his chest and went to bed. His partner George said, "What in the hell is that?" "It's to grow hair." he replied. "Bull shit!" said George. "If Vaseline grew hair...

I'd have tail a mile long!

These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, "You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you." Joe replied. "Are you crazy?!!" Larry went on to say, "I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin and see who fucks, who first. So, Joe thought about it for a minute and finally agreed. They flipped a coin and Larry won. Still having strong reservation Joe asked, "How will you tell if it hurts or not?" Larry told Joe, "If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing." Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed, Moooooooo. Moooooo. Mooooon River......