Since I First Laid Eyes
- Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
- Well, you succeeded.
Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes
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Random joke from this category
Prescription
This woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. He asks:
- What for?
She says:
- I want to kill my husband.
He says:
- Sorry, I can't do that.
She then reaches inter her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him.
He says:
- You didn't tell me you had a prescription...
Family Trends
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.
Stu said:
- I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?
Leroy replied:
- I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?
Nine Months Pregnant
What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
→ Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.
Living Like a Nun
Why do you live like a NUN after you get married?
→ NUN in the morning, NUN in the afternoon, NUN in the evening, NUN what so ever!
Guest
Angry Husband Returns
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man.
- What are you doing - he shouted.
To which his wife said to her lover:
- See, I told you he was stupid
Guest
Was She a Virgin
- Was your wife a virgin when you married?
- I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.
Guest
Six Stages of Married Life
Six stages of married life:
- Tri-weekly
- Try weekly
- Try weakly
- Try oysters
- Try anything
- Try to remember
A Change of Style
Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders.
He says:
- When did you start wearing them?
To which the other man replies:
- Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car.
Guest
The Playboy's Plan
- First - said the playboy - I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.
- Oh no you're not - said the girl.
- Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.
- Oh no you're not.
- Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.
- Oh no you're not.
- Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you.
- Oh no you're not.
- And I'm not going to wear a condom either! - said the guy.
- Oh yes you are! - said the girl.