Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife's business end. Naturally enough, she panics.

The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the doctor. The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to remove with forceps so he says to the husband that he will have to try and entice it out by putting honey on his penis and withdrawing as soon as he feels the wasp.

And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and his frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise to the occasion. So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and wife don't object.

Naturally both agree for fear the wasp will do any damage, so the doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife. Only he doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with vigour.

The husband shouts:

- What the hell's happening?

To which the doctor replies:

- Change of plan. I'm going to drown the bastard!!!

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

- I'm 90 years old - he says.

- 90! - replies the woman.

- Don't you realize you've had it?

- Oh, sorry - says the old man.

- how much do I owe you?

A question for Bill Clinton:

- What was Miss Lewinsky's most memorable feature?

→ She has the whitest teeth I've ever come across

What's the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter?
→ One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.

A guy says:

- I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.

- Yeah what happened? asked his friend.

- Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.

What's the purpose of a bellybutton?
→ To put your gum in on the way down.

Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:

- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?

- Hundred dollars, as usual.

What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?
→ They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!

Definition of bad lover:
An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.

A doctor's advice to young bride regarding the use of the diaphragm: "Use it on every conceivable occasion."