Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

Why did god invent alcohol?
→ So fat women can get laid too.

How is a woman like a road?
→ Both have manholes.

How is a woman like an airplane?
→ Both have cockpits.

What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
→ Toys for Twats.

Why are girls like pianos?
→ When they're not upright, they're grand...

What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20 doesn't?
→ A belly-button!

God created woman, and she had 3 breasts.

He said to the woman:

- Is there anything on you that you'd like to change?

She said:

- Yes. Could you get rid of this middle breast?

God snapped his fingers and it was done.

She exclaimed, holding the third breast in her hand:

- What am I going to do with this useless boob?

And God created man.

1. Get up.
2. Pee.
3. Drink raspberry-cranberry tea.
4. Pee.
5. Apply makeup. Pee first so you don't have to stop in the middle.
6. Drive to work. Pee at gas station. Complain about dirty restroom. Go to a different gas station and pee there.
7. Get to work at Burger King. Pee. Wash hands.
8. Lunch. Slimfast. Pee.
9. Arrive home. Pee. Shower. Pee.
10. Promise sex to husband. Pee. Get up in the middle of sex and pee.
11. Pee. Go to bed. Get up at 3 A.M. waking husband but instead of giving him head, go and pee.

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
→ The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls wax their floors.
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie.
Bad girls know they could do it better.

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.

Good girls wear high heels to work.
Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

Good girls say:

- No.

Bad girls say:

- When?