Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

Why is Bill Clinton happy he named his dog "Buddy?"
→ Because it's a BAD TIME to be yelling "come Spot!" in the Whitehouse.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
→ BILL CLINTON: Let me say this one more time. I did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.

As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton:

- Are you ready to order?

Clinton replies:

- Yes, I'd like a quickie.

- A quickie?!? - the waitress replies.

- Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu.

She walks away.

Gore leans over to Clinton and says:

- It's pronounced Quiche.

Why did clinton follow the chicken across the road?
→ because, he couldn't get his dick out of its ass.

Why is the government like a prostitute?
→ Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!

A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?
→ Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?
→ They both have, "incert Bill"!

One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says:

- I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give you something else.

So clinton takes the perscription and takes the pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in 3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription he gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says:

- Rub this around the offending circle and come back tomorrow.

Clinton returns the next day and starts shouting:

- Wow! That stuff was terriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!

The docter then calmly replied:

- Lipstick remover.

The FBI finally came back with the DNA results.

Clinton was a perfect match.

So was all of Arkansas.