Camping Jokes — most commented jokes

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice.

"Are you hurt?" asked another.

"I don't know yet," a weak voice was heard, "am still falling!"

A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up. When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling helplessly in the water.

The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the general, using an oar.

Catching his breath, he puffed: "Please don't say a word about this to anyone. If the Navy found I can't swim I'd be disgraced."

"Don't worry," the general said. "Your secret is safe. I'd hate to have my men find out I can't walk on water."

What do you call two guys in a sleepping bag?
→ A gay time....

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired.

Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?"

Watson yawns and tries to play the game. "Well, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny."

"No, my friend. It's much simpler than that. Someone has stolen our tent."

If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don't scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears. One can easily spot a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it.

You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
→ A Tent

Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in one tent while the wives used the other.

At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelievable!"

Which woke Ed.

- What's going on?

- I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife.

- How come?

- To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my life!

After a pause, Ed said, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?" said Ted.

"Because that's my dick you're holding," said Ed.

A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, "If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt Vaseline, would you tell anyone?"

"Hell no!" the guy said.

The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?"

The man said, "Of course not."

"Wanna go camping?"

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?" The second guy says, "No." "A bald eagle just flew over head." "Oh." A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?" "No." "There was a black bear walking on that hill over there." "Oh." A few minutes later the second guy says, "Did you see that?" The second guy, getting aggravated, says, "Yes, I did!" The first guy then says, "Then why did you step in it?"