Business Jokes — most commented jokes

Why did the Avon lady walk funny?
→ Her lipstick.

A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it.

Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."

- Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt, doctor?

- Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

So the doctor tells the patient he's got only six months to live.

But the patient doesn't pay his bill on time, so the doctor gives him another six months.

Why is sex like money in the bank?
→ Because when you withdraw, you lose interest.

Who makes more money a drug dealer or a hooker?
→ A hooker because she can wash her crack and reuse it.

The clerk showed the man the store's most expensive perfume.

"This is called 'Perhaps'," said the sales clerk. "It's $285 per ounce."

"Listen," the man shot back, "for $285 an ounce, I don't want something called 'Perhaps'; I want something called..."

You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You'll Get Some !!"

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"

The woman replies, "I'm a whore."

The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman, "Ok, I'm a prostitute."

"No, that is still too crude. Try again."

They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

Why do bankers make great lovers?
→ They know the penalty for early withdrawal.

What is the difference between a Certificate of Deposit and Intercourse?
→ A Certificate of Deposit has significant penalty for early withdrawal.