Blonde Jokes — most commented jokes

51 DAYSA bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door burstsopen and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order fivebottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at alarge table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begintoasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondesarrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raisingthe roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in witha picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in themiddle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing aroundthe table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to thetable. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of theCookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asksone of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondesare dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight.

Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. . .the side ofthe box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days ! "

A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life.

While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to get his sheep across the road. She stopped her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her first good deed.

After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer, "your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many there are, could I have one."

The farmer thought it impossible and told the blonde it was okay."637", said the blonde.

The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact number, but lived up to his bargain.

"I'll take that feisty one over there", said the blonde.

Then the farmer said to the blonde, "Okay, now if I guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?

As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's stunning, blonde staffers was transferred to an obscure base in Utah.

The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders. He glanced at them and said, "Well Private, your duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment."

The girl sighed and said, "Yes Sir. I kind-of figured that. Will it be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?"

So my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer -- and be the butt of any joke on the internet.

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III".

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?"

"Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

Why are dumb blonde jokes only one liners?
→ So men can understand them!

Why do men prefer blondes?
→ Men always like intellectual company.

A guy finally gets a date with an easy blonde. To prepare for the date he sunbathes in the nude on his roof, falls asleep and burns his manhood. He doesn't want to cancel so he slathers it with lotion and wraps it in gauze. The blonde shows up at his house, and he treats her to a home-cooked dinner. Afterwards they go to the living room to watch a movie. His manhood starts to bother him again so he excuses himself, goes into the kitchen, pours a glass of milk and immerses himself for immediate relief. The blonde, however, wanted to know what he was doing and walks in on him with his Johnson in the milk and exclaims, "So that's how you guys load those things!"

What do a Blonde and KFC have in common?
→ After your done with the breast and the thigh all you have left is a greasy bucket to stick your bone into.

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?

Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?