Blonde Jokes — most commented jokes

A blonde began a job as a Junior school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.

The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked "Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over there?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the bloody goalie."

NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off.

Contact is made:

- Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over.

- Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear.

- Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?

- Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over.

- That's right. Over and out.

They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage.

- Hello, Pig 2? Come in please.

- Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear.

- OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?

- Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program.

- That's right, Pig 2. Over and out.

An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off as planned. Ground control contacts the astronauts again.

- Houston here, Kiki, come in. Kiki do you read us?

- Kiki here, reading you loud and clear.

- Kiki, do you remember your instructions?

"Yes," Kiki says, "I feed the two pigs and keep my hands off any buttons."

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.

The officer wants to ask her a few questions....

- Officer: What's 2+2?

- Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

- Officer: What's the square root of 100?

- Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

- Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

- Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

- Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

What did one of the blonde's legs say to the other one?
→ Between you and me we could make a lot of money!

Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
→ It makes them feel popular.

How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?
→ If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the same time and still know which one to spit out.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
→ Translator.

How do you break a blonde's nose?
→ Place a dildo under a glass table!

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.

- Blonde: I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.

- Psychiatrist: Don't you have a phone in your car?

- Blonde: That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.

- Psychiatrist: Uh ... How's that working?

- Blonde: Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet.

- Psychiatrist: And why do you think that is?

- Blonde: I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
→ A Frosted Flake.