Random joke from this category
Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker.
"Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?"
"Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Braxton, "but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him."
"How come you got the cotton in your ears?"
"Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"
Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?
→ Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
In the construction field, it is often noted that lawyers make the worst clients. However, a couple of years ago I met an old carpenter that said lawyers were always his favorite clients!
When I asked him why he got so much pleasure out of having lawyers as clients he replied, "I only build coffins now."
- Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
- Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.
- Judge: Can't they do without you at work?
- Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ It was supposed to be in place last week!
How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.
Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?
→ A cub reporter.
An honest weatherman says, "Today's forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I'm wrong."
A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."
What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day?
→ DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ!
