At Work — most commented jokes

Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!

How long do chickens work?
→ Around the cluck!

A young biologist was sitting on a stump at the edge of their camp. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. One of the other biologists saw his sad looks and asked, "What's the matter?"

The young biologist said, "They put me in the same tent with old Doctor Perkins. He snores all night, takes a bath once a month, and talks non-stop about back when he studied passenger pigeons. He's so damn old, I think he was a lackey for Charles Darwin. He generally just makes my life Hell. We had a big fight about it and they split us up for a month"

The older biologist said, "That should make you happy."

The young biologist sadly shook his head and said, "Not when the month is up today!"

A wildlife biologist crew leader has several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews camped and worked in the woods and he made his rounds to visit each pair every few days. One particular crew, Sarah and Jim, were not getting nearly as much work accomplished as the others, so he suspected that they might be up to some funny business. The following day, he paid them a visit.

"Is anything funny going on here"? he asked.
"What do you mean by that?" the pair asked back.
"I mean, you're not getting much fieldwork done. Are you two, you know, maybe doing something you're not supposed to do?"
"Absolutely not!" the Jim replied. " We are strictly co-workers"
"Oh yes," the Sarah replied, " We hike all day, record our data, return back, and fall asleep exhausted.
"That's right!" Jim replied, "and me in my tent, and she in hers!"

The crew supervisor spent the remainder of the day in the field with the pair. He left the field early, returned to camp, retrieved his Jeep and left the area.

The following day, the biologist pair had lost their $1000 GPS unit.
They searched high and low, but could not find it. It had simply disappeared from their camp. After a few frantic days, they suspected that the crew leader had taken it. It was the only plausible explanation. That evening, they called him on the 2-way radio, and politely asked weather he may have inadvertently taken the unit.

"As a matter of fact, I did take it the day I came up to see if you two were sleeping together. After realizing I had accidentally taken it with me from the field, I placed it in Sarah's sleeping bag where she would be sure to find it!"

A young wildlife biologist got fired from his first real wildlife job. Upon his return home, his parents asked him what happened.

"You know what a crew boss is?" he asked.
"The one who stands around and watches everyone else work."

"What's that got to do with it?" they asked.

"Well, he just got jealous of me," the young biologist explained.
"Everyone thought I was the crew boss."

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

- Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more.

- Why not?

- He lost his balance.

What did the really ugly man do for a living?
→ He posed for Halloween masks!

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
→ The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm?
→ He kept throwing the bent bananas away.