Most commented jokes

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

Q. Why does Mary Lou Retton smile so much?

A. Because she found out what the big boys eat.

What does ADIDAS stand for?

All Day I Dream About Sex.

What's the definition of AIDS?

Anally Injected Death Sentence.

The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherto began his sermon when two masked men burst into thechurch and said "Whoever is not willing to take a bulletfor Jesus better leave now." More than half of thecongregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their masks, sat in the front rowand said, "Okay, Reverend, you can preach now. All thehyprocrites are gone."

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A: A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

Schwarzenegger has a big one,Michael J. Fox has a small one,Madonna doesn't have one,The POPE has one but doesn't use it,Clinton uses his all the time,Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,George Burns' was hot,Liberace NEVER used his on women,Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his,We never saw Lucy use Desi'swhat is it?

A last name....... Were you thinking of something else?

A blond at a party was telling her friend thatshe was off men for life. "They lie, they cheatand they're just no good. From now on when I wantsex, I'm going to use my vibrator"

"So, what when the batteries run out?" asked her friend"I'll just fake an orgasm like always."

What do you get when you cross a Rooster with an owl?

A Cock that can stay up all night!!