Most commented jokes

Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep.

Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different.

A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful.

- Doc! - Joe says.

- It's amazing! I'm cured!

- That's great news! - the psychoanalyst says.

- you seem to be doing much better. How?

- I went to see another doctor - Joe says enthusiastically.

- and he cured me in just ONE session!

- One?! - the psychoanalyst asks incredulously.

- Yeah - continues Joe.

- my new doctor is a behaviorist.

- A behaviorist? - the psychoanalyst asks.

- How did he cure you in one session?

- Oh, easy - says Joe.

- He told me to cut the legs off of my bed.

A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him:

- Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it.

As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says:

- King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans.

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other:

- Why are you here?

The second answers:

- I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.

The first is curious and asks:

- How do you know that you're Napoleon?

The second responds:

- God told me I was.

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts:

- NO I DIDN'T!

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session:

- I'm not aware of your problem - the doctor said.

- So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.

- Of course. - replied the patient.

- In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth...

- Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages.

- Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too.

- Patient: Good, you should come and see my collection. I've got hundreds of them.

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered.
The older looking one asks the other:

- What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me.

The younger looking one replies:

- Who listens?

A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her husband asked her, "How it went?". She replied, "Fine, but I've never seen so many Freudians slips."

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
→ Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.

A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"

Psychiatrist to his nurse:

- Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'