Most commented jokes

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor.

The nurse arrived and announced to the first man:

- Congratulations sir, you're the father of twins.

- What a coincidence! - the man said with some obvious pride.

- I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.

The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man:

- You, sir, are the father of triplets.

- Wow, that's really an incredible coincidence - he answered.

- I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down.

An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply.

- Don't tell me another coincidence? - asked the nurse.

After finally regaining his composure, he said:

- I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel.

After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the fourth guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and, after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.

The nurse asked:

- Sir, are you all right?

- Yes - says the man.

- I'm o.k. now. I just had a shocking thought. I work at the 7-11 Store.

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said:

- Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?

Tommy burst into tears and confessed:

- I think Mommy ate it!

Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.

- Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?

- Father: Ok ask.

- Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.

- Father: !!!??????!!!

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.

- Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'? - she asked.

- Well, no - answered the puzzled homeowner.

- But I have a wife and eleven children.

- Is that a record? - she inquired.

- I don't think so, but it's as close as I want to get - replied the man.

For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.

She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.

- Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?

On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.

The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston.

Then she inquired what I did for a living.

I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice.

Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said:

- If there's anything you want to know, just ask me.

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child.

The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:

- Some parents tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.' - she said.

One of the women spoke up immediately:

- Does she cook???

One day, a grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is just giving him tips. They are on hole 8 and there is a tree in the way and the grandpa says, "When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree." So, the grandson hits the ball and it bumps against the tree and lands not to far from where it started. "Of course," added the grandpa, "when I was your age, the tree was only 3 feet tall."

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like:

- We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said:

- I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!