Most commented jokes

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?"

The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes."

"I'm sorry sir.", said the ticket agent, "We don't allow animals in the theater."

The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.

The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.

"Marge", whispered Mildred.

"What", said Marge.

"I think this guy next to me is a pervert.", said Mildred.

"What makes you think that", asked Marge.

"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out", whispered Mildred.

"Well, don't worry about it", said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all."

"I thought so", said Mildred, "But this one is eating my popcorn."

What do u get if u cross bambi wit a ghost?

BAMBOOWhat is a duck's favourite TV show?

THE FEATHER FORECASTGET IT? hahaha

Three animals were having a hugeargument over who was the best.

The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had hardly a chance.

The second,a lion,based his claim on his strength. No animal in the forest dared to challenge him.

The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any animal using his unique arsenal.

As the trio debated the issue, a grizzly bear came along and swallowed them all: hawk, lion, and stinker!

Did you know that elephants actually have their sexual organs in their feet?

Yup, if one steps on you, you're screwed.

A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.

One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!" The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!" The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but couldn't get passed the two bigger moles.

Finally giving up, he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."

A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?"

The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels."

The lieutenent can't beleive it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn.

The ensuing chaos was amazing... men from all over the camp decended on the camel pens like huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenent sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, "Let me go! Let me go!"

"Good God man," said the lieutenent. "There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What's your hurry?"

The corporal replied, "I don't want to get stuck with an ugly one!"

A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him quarters, he asks the corporal, "The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?"

The corporal replies, "On Fridays, they let us use the camels."

The lieutentent is disgusted, but says nothing. After a few weeks, however, the new officer is very lonely. He decides that if everyone else is doing it, why shouldn't he.

The next friday, the young lieutentent slinks over to the camel pens and, after looking around, drops his pants and starts humping a female camel. The camel is not amused and makes a huge uproar.

The same corporal comes in to investigate. "Lieutenent! What are you doing."

"Come on man," replied the embarrased officer, "You yourself told me we could use the camels on Fridays."

"Yes sir," replied the corporal. "But most of us just ride them into town."

A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won't budge.

The woman stops and says, "Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?"

The legionarie tells her the camel won't budge but she's welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW... smashes the camel's testicles with the bricks. The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert.

The captain drops his pants and says, "Great! Do me next, I've got to catch that son of a bitch!"

Q: What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?

A: None. It just lets out a little wine.

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?" Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves. The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!'' The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?'' Confused, the bartenders says no. ''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''