A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to.
He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said:
- I'm moving here from the city, what do you guys do around here?
The men answered:
- Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw.
He then asked:
- What do you hunt and kill?
The men replied:
- Sumt'n ta screw.
Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
→ 3 dollars a year for a million years.
Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.
A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
- A brave New Yorker saves friend from vicious animal - he starts writing in his notebook.
- But I'm not from New York - the boy replies.
- I'm visiting from Kentucky!
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:
- Redneck bastard kills family pet.
What did the redneck get on his I.Q. test?
→ Drool.
Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?
→ He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.
A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder... the bartender looks up and says:
- Where the hell did you get that thing?
The Parrot replies:
- Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!
Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?
→ He wiped the chain and pulled himself.
Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
→ It did $100 million worth of improvements.
Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
→ It seats 500.
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says:
- Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?
