Most commented jokes

What do elephants use for tampoons?
→ Sheep.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
→ Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!

Why is a violist like a terrorist?
→ They both fuck up bowings.

What did Jesus do when he got to the Holiday Inn?
→ He threw some nails down on the counter and asked:

- Can you put me up for the night?

Why can't Jesus eat M & M's?
→ Because they fall through the holes in his hands.

A guy walks into a store and says to the managaer:

- why doesn't your store have a name

the store manager says:

- I haven't thought of one yet but I think u can help me, what's your girlfriend's name.

The guy says:

- Jenny

then the store owner says:

- What's do you like most about Jenny

and the guy says:

- her legs.

So the store manager says:

- ok that's what we'll call my store Jenny's Legs. Here's a coupon come back tomorrow morning and you can have a free drink.

And the man says:

- ok.

The next day the man comes back to the store banging on the window yelling:

- where's my free drink, where's my free drink!

Then a police officer comes up to him and says:

- What are you doing?

and the guy says:

- I'm waiting for Jenny's Legs to open up.

A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man:

- Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?

The desert man replies:

- Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small.

Mr. Richman has 3 daughters. Their names are nobody, somebody and crazy.

One day nobody and somebody are fighting over a fake eyebrow. Then crazy when to the policeman and she said:

- Nobody and Somebody are fighting

Then the policeman look at her then he said:

- What are you talking about?

Then she said again:

- Nobody and Somebody are fighting

Then the policeman said:

- What? Are you crazy?

Then she said:

- Yes but how did you know my name?

WE DON'T SERVE WOMEN HERE!

(you have to bring your own)

If god had wanted us to run around naked, we would have been born that way.