Most commented jokes

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?
→ The letter "E"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in.

The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family's Christmas tree. He is allowed entry to Heaven.

The second man offers a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier that evening. He too is allowed entry to Heaven.

The third man reaches into his pocket and produces a pair of panties.

Confused at the man's gesture, St. Peter asks:

- How do panties represent Christmas?

The man replies:

- Oh, they're Carol's.

Hear about the guy who played a blank tape at full blast.

The mime next door went nuts.

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
→ A rash of good luck.

How do you make a hot dog stand?
→ Steal its chair.

More cool than funny, but...

racecar <===> racecar
drawer <===> reward
repaid <===> diaper
straw <===> warts
evian <===> naive [there's a message here, I think!]
smug <===> gums
star <===> rats
step <===> pets
step on <===> no pets

- John: I don't know what to buy - a cow or a bicycle.

- Peter: You will look silly riding a cow.

- John: I will look even sillier trying to milk a bicycle.

- Tom: I found twenty cents on the sidewalk.

- Jim: That's mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning.

- Tom: But, what I found was two ten-cent coins!

- Jim: That's it. I heard it break when it hit the ground.

I received a letter from my bank the other day, telling me, "This is the last time we're going to spend a quarter to tell you that you have fifteen cents!"