A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go's on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells:
- There's a horses ass
A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said the same:
- There's a horses ASS...
He then got punched again.. So he says to the bartender:
- What is this, a Clinton country?
The bartender says:
- no, Horse country
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling:
- Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says:
- I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, but what could "I" possibly do to save the country?
- Mrs. Clinton: Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit...
Definition: Politics
Poli (Poly): Many....
Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures
One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House.
- George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.
- Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did - advised George.
The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.
- Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.
- Cut taxes and reduce the size of government - advised Tom.
Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.
- Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked. Abe replied:
- Go to the theater.
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him:
- Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.
- What did it say on the banners? - Clinton asks.
Saddam replies:
- Allah is god, god is Allah.
Clinton says:
- You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner.
- What could you see on the banners? - Saddam asks.
Clinton replies:
- I don't know. I can't read Hebrew.
President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!". She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, "No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!"
The Australian liberal party announced today that they are changing their emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance: A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages co-operation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.
A little girl asked her father:
- Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?
And he replied:
- No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'
BUY YUGO WAR BONDS
For $25 US dollars you can invest in the future of a developing country just out of the clutches of communism.
What your $$$ buyz: Russian ammo for one freedom fighter for one month for the ethnic clensing!
Their motto: I wanns be like Ike! A little behind the times, BUT!
They model themselves after the US of A. They want to establish a land- first ridding themselves of undesireables (like the US did against the native inhabitants) Why not? What's good enough for US is good enuff for them!
