Random joke from this category
This fellow dies and goes to heaven. God offers to answer three questions.
- Guy: Why are girls so pretty?
- God: So you'll like them.
- Guy: Why are girls soft?
- God: So you'll like them.
- Guy: Why are girls so dumb?
- God: So they'll like you.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?
→ Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens.
"It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?"
"Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on top!"
Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet, sensitive men in this world?
→ Because they already have boyfriends!
"We'd like a room, please," the bloke said, nodding toward his misses. "We were married this morning."
"Congratulations," the desk clerk said, "how about the bridal?"
"No thanks, just a room. I'll hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it."
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
→ Three. One to screw in the lightbulb, and another to suck my dick, as I beat my wife!
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
→ Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
→ Made her chain too long.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
A guy is sitting in a bar next to a really ugly woman. She has a parrot on her shoulder.
- Woman: If you can tell me what kind of animal I have on my shoulder... I'll sleep with you.
- Guy: An alligator?
- Woman: Close enough
