Sex Jokes — most commented jokes

What do blondes say after sex?
→ "Thanks, Guys!"
→ "Are you boys all in the same band?"
→ Do you guys all play for the same team?
→ Who were all those guys?

Why do blondes have orgasms?
→ So they know when to stop having sex!

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with her vibrator.

"What are you doing?", asked the Mom.

"Mom I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get married so this is pretty much my husband."

The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.

The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. "What the hell are you doing?", he asked.

His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I am 40 years old now and ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to a husband."

The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.

The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one hand, and the vibrator in the other hand, watching the football game.

"For Christ's sake, what are you doing?" she cried.

The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!"

DO I HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE SAFE FAX?
→ Although married people fax quite often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.

MY PARENTS SAY THEY NEVER HAD FAX WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND WERE ONLY ALLOWED TO WRITE MEMOS TO EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY WERE TWENTYONE. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SOMEONE SHOULD BE BEFORE THEY CAN FAX?
→ Faxing can be performed at any age, once you learn the correct procedure.

IF I FAX MYSELF, WILL I GO BLIND?
→ Certainly not, as far as we can see.

THERE IS A PLACE ON OUR STREET WHERE YOU CAN GO AND PAY FOR FAX. IS THIS LEGAL?
→ Yes. many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and Must pay a "professional" when their needs to fax become too great.

SHOULD A COVER ALWAYS BE USED FOR FAXING?
→ Unless you are really sure of the one you're faxing, a cover sheet should be used to insure safe fax.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I INCORRECTLY DO THE PROCEDURE AND I FAX PREMATURELY?
→ Don't panic. Many people prematurely fax when they haven't faxed in a long time. Just start Over; Most people won't mind if you try again.

I HAVE A PERSONAL AND BUSINESS FAX. CAN TRANSMISSIONS BECOME MIXED UP?
→ Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but as long as you use a cover with each one, you won't transmit anything You're not supposed to.

What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
→ The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
→ The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
→ The blonde says, "Beige. . . I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?
→ They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.

What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
→ He knows who the ten men were.

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
→ They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
→ So she can have a doggie bag for later.

What did one Lesbian frog say to the other Lesbian frog?
→ You know what...we DO taste like chicken!

It was just another day and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. I whipped out my Million Dollar Bar and whispered "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like Crunch on My Big Hunk" she replied "Oh Henry, what a Whopper."

Well she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll and it was pure Almond Joy. I couldn't resist her Charms and reached out and grabbed her Mounds, it was easy to see this little Twix had the Red Hots for me. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger slipped into her tight little Kit Kat as she screamed "Oh Henry, Oh Henry" soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and Zagnut's. It wasn't long before I blew my Milk Duds to Mars, which gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked about M&M, but I said "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff you little Reese's pieces.

Don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you grab my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed "Oh you Cracker Jack, better than the Three Muskteers" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty when all of a sudden...my Starburst! Yeah as luck would have it she started to get Chunky, complained of a Wrigley in her stomach and nine months later out popped "BABY RUTH."