Marriage Jokes — most commented jokes

How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?
→ Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough.
If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

One Scot came back from work earlier then usual and saw plumber's car in the front of the house.

- Oh my God, I hope it is her lover.

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip.
"When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile," she said.
"Why, was he disappointed with the view?"
"No, he fell over the edge."

- Wife to Husband: I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager!

- Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you're wearing it out.

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None, the sockets go with the house.

What's the major cause of divorce?
→ Once is not enough.

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself.

"Sorry, he doesn't live here anymore, we're divorced!"

Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results.

He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling.
"Look, Bozo! We're divorced! Finito! End of story! When are you going to get that through your fat head?"

"Oh, I know! I just can't hear it enough!"

Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for a divorce from her husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She testified he'd stepped out "for a beer" on the Fourth of July, 1917, and had never come back.

Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage.

Why do divorced men get married again?
→ Bad memory.