Marriage Jokes — most commented jokes

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

- John: I'm a man of few words.

- Bill: I'm married, too.

What do you call two spiders who just got married?
→ Newlywebs.

Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn't.

- I think you've had enough, sir.

- I just lost my wife, buddy!

- Well, it must be hard losing a wife....

- It was almost impossible!

Before we got married, I caught her in my arms.
Now I catch her in my pockets.

How is a marriage like a hot bath?
→ Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

How do you know when you're at a hillbilly wedding?
→ Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?
→ On a bun-eymoon!

- Hey, you just shot my wife.

- I'm so sorry, have a shot at mine!