Ethnic — most commented jokes

A swedish man was bored. He was bored with his work, bored with his life in general. He felt as there was nothing waiting for him in this life... ...until one day, in the breakfast table, he was reading the morning paper, when he saw an article, which would change his life. It said: "...

Scientist's had found out, that somewhere in Africa, one could still find tribes of genuine cavemen, untouched by civilization. Only thing needed was to find the correct cave and shout "Wohoo!!" and the tribe would answer to this call."

"This is it!" the swede thought. "This is what I've been waiting for! I'll sell everything I own, go to Africa, find these cavemen, and become rich and famous!"

And so he did. He sells everything, moves to Africa and starts looking for the tribe. But cave after cave after cave, no answer. No cavemen. Until one day, yet another cave, and another yell: "Juhuuu!!" And then he heard it! " WWOOOOUU WOOOOOO !!!! " "Härregud!" The Swede thought, "A whole tribe!" And just as he was starting to run to the cave, he thought: "Now wait a minute. These are cavemen. They don't wear any clothes, and I might scare then off." So he stripped his clothes off quickly, and started to run into the cave.

And the following day, he was in the headlines all over the world: "Naked Swede ran over by a train in Africa"

How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed?
→ Put velcro on the ceiling.

Why are there no phone books in China?
→ Because there are so many Wing's and Wong's, they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number.

If you're American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
→ European.

How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?
→ She drops her nail file.

A Dutchman, a German and a Belgian are planning to walk in the desert.

The Dutchman says: "I'll bring an umbrella for the shade when it gets too hot."

The German says: "I'll bring some sunglasses. This sun can really destroy your eyes!"

The Belgian remains silent.

Next day, the Dutchman and the German are astonished. "What's that?" they both shout. The Belgian answers: "It's a car door. Now I can open the window when it gets hot..."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal' while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named 'Juan'. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds...

"But they are twins and if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."

One guy says to another guy, "Mandelbaum and Rosenstern were talking one day..."

Right away, his friend interrupts him, "Always with the Jewish jokes! Give it a rest! Why do they always have to be about Jews? Just change the names to another ethnic group for once!"

So he starts again, "Hashimoto and Suzuki were talking one day at their nephew's Bar Mitzvah..."

There are three guys who are good friends. One is an American, one is Polish, and one is Italian.

They are driving together one day when they get into a car accident. They all die and float up towards the gates of Heaven. When they get there, an angel who tells them they are all on the border of Heaven and Hell. As a result, they have the choice to either ask a question of the angel or be asked a question. If they answer correctly, or if the angel answers incorrectly on their question, they will pass into Heaven.

The Italian guy goes first. He tells the angel to ask him a question. The angel says, "How many grains of sand are there in the world?" The Italian guy says, "Um, four trillion?" and falls straight to Hell.

The polish guy goes next and wants the angel to ask a question. The angel says, "How many drops of water are there in all of the world's oceans?" He says, "Uh, ninety-eight billion?" and also falls straight to Hell.

Finally, it's the American's turn. He tells the angel he will ask the question, but he needs a pencil and paper. The angel snaps his fingers and it magically appears. The American proceeds to take the paper, makes hundreds of holes in it with the pencil and farts through it. He then asks the angel, "Which hole did my fart go through?" The angel replies, "That's easy," and points to a hole. The American says...

"No, it came out of this one!" and points to his butt, and then goes to Heaven.

A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and stops them. They show him their papers, but he thinks they are phony.

He tells them, "Okay, I have a test for you. I want you to use the words liver and cheese in a sentence."

So, the first guy says, "I made a liver and cheese sandwich for lunch."

The agent says, "That was good, you can go. What about you?" he asks the second guy.

He says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."