Random joke from this category
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response:
"Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give you two dollars. Everybody wins."
How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
→ They put parking meters on the roof!
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked.
"I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied.
"Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"
Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
→ 3 dollars a year for a million years.
A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the bartender looks up and says, "Where the hell did you get that thing?"
The Parrot replies, "Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!!"
Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
→ It did $100 million worth of improvements.
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"
What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
→ An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you."
A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."
How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
→ They all gather around their cash registers and sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."
Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian?
→ He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.
