Random joke from this category
A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech.
Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"
Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.
Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawyers.
Proctologist: the rare profession in which the M.D. starts out at the bottom and stays there.
Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases.
One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers.
The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked, "Where did those flowers come from?"
The other proctologist answered very cooly, "How should I know. There wasn't any card!!"
A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, "Shit, some asshole has my pen!!!"
Psychiatrist:
Psychiatry: The care of the id by the odd.
- Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.
- Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair!
- Psychiatrist: What is your problem?
- Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
- Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
- Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
- Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?
- Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.
- Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
- Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.
- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!
- Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I'll deal with you later!
- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin.
- Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!
