Doctor Jokes — most commented jokes

Which fish can perform operations?
→ Sturgeon!

A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the Doctor used his fishing scales.

The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz..

Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live?
→ When the patient couldn't pay, the doctor gave him another six months.

- Witch: Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces.

- Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that.

- Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled.

- Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces.

- Doctor: Don't worry, I don't expect anyone will notice.

A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really need help."
"Yes I do," said the elephant, "get this kid off my foot!"

What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick?
→ A docs-hund!

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?
→ The tomato was in a can.

"Doctor, doctor!" said the panic-stricken woman, "my husband was asleep with his mouth open, and he's swallowed a mouse! What shall I do?"
"Quite simple," said the doctor calmly. "You just tie a lump of cheese to a piece of string and lower it into your husband's mouth. As soon as the mouse takes a bite, haul it out."
"Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor. I'll go around to the fishmonger straight away and get a cod's head."
"What do you want a cod's head for?"
"Oh- I forgot to tell you. I've got to get the cat out first!"

- Doctor: Good news, you passed your hearing test!

- Patient: HUH