Random joke from this category
A medical student is taking a test and one of the questions he sees is:
- Name the three best advantages of mother's milk.
The student immediately writes:
- One: It has all the healthful nutrients needed to sustain a baby.
- Two: It is inside the mother's body and therefore protected from germs and infections.
But the student can't think of the third answer. Finally, he writes:
- Three: It comes in such nice containers.
I was twelve before I realized I could cough without having a doctor hold my balls!
After making love, the woman said to the man:
- So, you're a doctor?
- That's right - replied the doctor smugly.
- Betcha don't know what kind of doctor.
- Ummm... I'd say that you're an anesthesiologist.
- Yep, that's right! Good guess! How did you know? - asked the guy.
- Because throughout the entire procedure, I didn't feel a thing.
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says:
- I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.
The husband, rejected but still quite horny, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
This time he whispers in her ear:
- Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?
A mature woman was in the pastorial study counseling for her upcoming fourth wedding.
- Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?
- My child, you have been a married woman for many years. Surely that cannot be.
- Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk, and the next one was in construction and he always said he'd get to it tomorrow.
- The last one was a gynecologist and all he did was look. But this time, father, I'm marrying a lawyer and I'm sure I'm going to get screwed!
The brash young gynecologist, fresh out of medical school, took one look at his voluptuous new patient and abandoned his professional ethics entirely. As he stroked the supple skin of her naked body, he asked:
- Do you understand what I am doing?
- Yes - the patient answered.
- You're checking for dermatological abrasions.
- Correct - the doctor lied.
Next, he fondled her breasts long and lovingly. Again, he inquired:
- Do you understand what I am doing?
- You're feeling for cancerous lumps - she ventured.
- Very astute - the doctor complimented, getting more excited.
He placed the woman's feet in stirrups, dropped his pants, and slipped his member inside her.
And do you understand what I am doing now?
- All too well - the patient shot back.
- You're contracting herpes!
What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
→ One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
This kid walks into the pharmacy:
- I've a hot date tonight, a sure thing, and my buddies said you could fix me up for it.
- What do you want?
- Well, it's a hot date, man. A sure thing? You know...
- What do you want?
- I need some protection, alright??!?!
- What size?
- Size? I dunno... Whatever is considered average I guess.
- That'll be $2.35 including tax.
- Tacks?! Tacks?! I thought they stayed on by themselves!
A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says:
- I'd like 99 condoms please.
With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says:
- 99 Condoms!?! Fuck me!
To which the guy replies:
- Make it 100.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.
The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust. The pharmacist thinks this odd and asks his assistant that, if the man returns, to follow him.
Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns.
- So did you follow him?
- I did.
- And...where did he go?
- Over to your house!
