Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

Some years ago, on Times Square in NYC, I observed a native American, in full Indian regalia, feather head dress, buckskin clothes, etc.

As a pretty woman would walk by, he would raise his right hand, in an Indian greeting, and say:

- Wanna.

I watched this ritual for about 20 minutes, and I became more curious as he kept making these greetings. Finally, I couldn't resist any longer. I went up to the native American, and said:

- I have been watching you, and I am confused. I thought that Indians say "How."

He turned to me, obviously quite annoyed, and said...:

- ME KNOW HOW...

ME TRYING TO FIND WOMAN WHO WANNA!!

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburg. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass.

Well endowed, gorgeous, amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.

The first priest approached the window.

- Young lady - he began, I would like three pickets to titsburg...

Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled.

The second priest approached.

- Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg - he began, and I would like the change in nipples and dimes.

So of course he also fled.

Then came the third.

- Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburg, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say - he continued, if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!

There's a celery, a carrot, and a dick talking.

The celery was like:

- Man, I got it bad, they chop me up and put me in cold water!

Then the carrot was like:

- You think you got it bad they chop me up and stick me in HOT water!

Then the dick said:

- Ya, well I got it the worst.

They put me in a plastic bag, stick me in a dark cave, and make me do push-ups until I puke!

Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toypen?
→ Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's face saying:

- Lie to me, lie to me!

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army. His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis...

He agrees, and does so.

When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y. The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man's penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica.

One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him... The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican:

- Wow, that's really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?

And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says...:

- Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!

How are a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky alike?
→ Insert Bill here.

What does a blonde and a screen door have in common?
→ The more you bang 'em the looser they get.

An eminent teacher and thinker once expressed his philosophy of life:

- When it all boils done to the essence of truth - the philosopher said, one must live by a dog's rule of life:

- If you can't eat it or fuck it...

PISS ON IT!

The boss of a large company says to his protege:

- I'm transferring you to the northern office.

The protege says:

- But that place is full of whores and football players!

The boss replies:

- My wife used to live there!

The protege quickly responds:

- Really?? What position does she play?

What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?
→ When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you!