Business Jokes — most commented jokes

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk.

The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation.

The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm damn sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar.

The catholic florist - $ 300. "Too expensive" moans the priest.

The protestant florist - $ 250, "No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small." But lo! Solly Goldberg - $ 75!!!

Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the contract.

On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last reservations are discarded.

When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription: "Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, "I give ten dollars." Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. "I give a thousand dollars!"

The minister said, "Lord, hit him again!"

God, I was wondering... how long is a million years to you?

God answered, "Son, a million years to me is like a second to you."

So the man asks, "God how much is a million dollars to you?"

And God answered, "Son a million dollars to me is like one penny to you."

So the man asks, "God, can I have one of your pennies?"

And God answers, "Just a second son."

On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their daily business. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other - a star of David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to the cross wearer and the other was overlooked.

Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and suggested that if he take off the star of David maybe he'd get some more hand outs.

"Get this guy, Chaim" laughs the pan handler and turns to his cross wearing pal, "He's trying to teach us how to do business!"

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept.

The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle god kept.

The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."

I received a letter from my bank the other day, telling me, "This is the last time we're going to spend a quarter to tell you that you have fifteen cents!"

Did you hear that in New York State, the Stop And Shop grocery chain merged with the A & P?

Yup..now they call it the...

Stop & P.

If K-Tel sold toasters...

They would not be available in stores, and you would get a free set of Ginsu knives.

If Radio Shack made toasters...

The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build your own toaster.