Random joke from this category
How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank".
How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
→ He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.
Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?
What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
→ The car salesman can probably drive!
After buying a PC from a dealer of shady shady repute, the luckless customer unpacked his new toy and plugged it in to find it Dead On Arrival.
Naturally, after checking the usual things, he called the dealer and explained his problem. First question from Deviously Evasive Dealer:
"Did you check to see whether the power was on?"
"Of course."
DED: "Did you open the cover and check whether any of the boards had shaken loose in shipping?"
"Of course."
DED: Then why are you calling me?"
"Well, you sold it to me and there has to be some kind of warranty," pleaded the frustrated purchaser.
"Of course there is," replied the DED, "But you voided the warranty when you opened the cover."
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley:
LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
→ We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers.
When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"
"The crackers are complimentary," the voice to the other end cooly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number."
A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows.
They get out of the car and look at the problem.
The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem."
The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself."
The marketing manager says, "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's ship it!"
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
