Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

- Caspar: I was the teacher's pet last year.

- Jaspar: Why was that?

- Caspar: She couldn't afford a dog.

How do bees get to school?
→ By school buzz!

- Teacher: Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank!

- Pupil: Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet!

- Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?

- Jackie: Nine.

- Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.

- Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

The teacher came up with a good problem.

"Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

- Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?

- Pupil: Nobody I know!

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The storeowner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale."

The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."

And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."

And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant.
Four fish got battered!

Have you ever seen a man-eating tiger?
→ No, but in the restaurant next door I once saw a man eating chicken!

Jane's father decided to take all the family out to a restaurant for a meal. As he'd spent quite a lot of money for the meal he said to the waiter, "Could I have a bag to take the leftovers home for the dog?"
"Gosh!" exclaimed Jane, "Are we getting a dog?"